As is typical, my positive attitude has waned somewhat over the past week given that there is nothing to do at the moment but wait for the days to tick by. Still no period nor any indications that it's coming, which is a good sign, and the nips are still sore but other than that nothing really to report. Except my eyeballs feel hot today. Is that weird?
On a related note, this whole baby-making prep and implementation time is a great opportunity for me to actually pay attention to what the hell is going on in this body of mine. I have for the most part relied on fairly high energy and a high pain threshold to blow through life with little regard to my poor mortal coil, absent serious, and thankfully thus far temporary, breakdown. I know that this is a luxury that couldn't last forever, but I'm not 30 yet so I probably have a few years of this left. I do very little to abuse my body, too, besides not getting enough sleep all the time and having a fairly stressful job, so I may get extra juvenation brownie points for that. All of that said, I like the fact that I am being forced, or at least strongly encouraged, to actually pay attention to the little things going on with me. There is always the risk of me becoming obsessive with the details, as I can do when something interests me, but in general I think this is a very positive development. The eyeballs for example. Not the most relevant of observations you might say? Fair enough. However, I'm pretty sure that several months ago I wouldn't have noticed, or taken the time to notice, since it didn't hurt, didn't stop me from doing anything, and wasn't a recognizable sign of bad things to come. I still marvel at the fact that I was content to relinquish full control for a very important biological system to chemicals for so long precisely so that I didn't have to think about what my body was up to. I do love schedules! I like that now I've changed my mind. Though I have relinquished a different kind of control - the mental, planning kind - I have faith that ultimately my body will do what it has to do. At least I have faith this week....
In more practical news, we ordered some home pregnancy tests online last night. Only 5 (see, still pretty optimistic, if not completely so). I probably won't test until after next week but we saved a few bucks even with shipping. This will be lifetime pregnancy test #4 for me but the only one where there is a real possibility of a positive. That is if my period doesn't come in the next week of course. Ah, waiting. If only it were what I do best.
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1 comment:
Acu was good... it was nice just to be able to talk to a practitioner who really listened, instead of the 10 min tops with an ob!
Like you said, for the most part I have faith that my body will start cycling on it's own and hopefully acu will support that and also fulfill my need to feel like I'm at least doing something proactive and helpful! I do feel really good about it and that it will help get me to a good place to support a healthy pregnancy, too!
I'm very hopeful for you and keeping my fingers crossed, too!
Carol
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