First time for everything

So I took my very first pregnancy test ever today. Not because I really thought I was pregnant but because this is my first month off the pill in many, many years and I am a week late if you're going by the 28-day cycle. I've been on the pill so long that I don't even remember if I used to be regular, but I don't think I was ever a week late before. I'm sure the old body is just sorting itself out hormone-wise but it makes me think I should have gone off the pill a few more months before we wanted to start trying. Who would have thought I would be anxious to have my period? At this point, I just want proof that my body can do it on its own after 10+ years of oral contraceptive assistance. It's very irritating not knowing when it's coming, though. When you're on the pill you take for granted that you are going to know the exact day, and likely a ballpark time of when you're period is coming. What do natural women do? Talk about taking predictability for granted. Waiting is, at the moment, more of a pain than dealing with the period itself.

In other news, since this really isn't a conception blog yet and I have been mentioning my dear naturopath a lot lately, I thought I'd report that I'm off to see him this Friday. I'm feeling really good these days, so this may be my last visit to him for a while. I also want to ask him about fetus-friendly motion sickness remedies. I get air sick and have a few trips planned this year that I would like not to puke on. Anyone have any ideas? I don't know much about what to avoid when pregnant (which I am for the most part extrapolating to cover my pre-pregnancy state, too, to flush the system out and to avoid the risk of carry over) but I know that Gravol is bad. Good thing I've been collecting those little air sick bags.

OK, the body really is a marvelous thing

So I tried really hard to listen to the body and I've solved the problem, at least so far. Though the tummy symptoms were very similar to the initial symptoms that sent me to the doctor in the first place, it seems to have been caused by liver over-stimulation. Now that I've stopped the liver stimulants things are just fine again. And as often happens in hindsight, I don't know why I didn't think of it before. The naturopath even said the last time that I could "experiment" with lowering the stimulant dose but I decided that I wouldn't feel when it was time to experiment. Apparently I could feel it but my mind just didn't know it. At least I feel good again. Funny how feeling not so good makes you appreciate goodness feeling all the more.

But what do I do with my nice newly restored digestive system? I take it to a hideous Argentinian restaurant and feed it gristle. What is it about ethnically prepared meat on a special grill that makes them think that they can serve the worst cuts of meat and no one will notice? It creeps me out just thinking about what I ate, and I stopped after not that many bites. And I'm not just saying that because one of the meat selections was tripe, which I just can't bring myself to eat. I was very picky as a kid and have gotten 100 times better with age, but organ meat just doesn't do it for me. Ugh. At least there was salsa dancing at the restaurant, so I could work a sinew or two off with my very rudimentary salsa knowledge. The only redeeming quality of that place. Ugh indeed.

The body is a marvelous thing ... most of the time

I have a lazy liver. At least, that's what my naturopath told me in May of last year when I went to see him for the first time. I have trouble digesting things. I don't know what things in particular (because of my physical not-in-tuneness? Possibly....) but a lot of things. My doctor did an ultrasound on my gall bladder a year ago and settled on the catch-all diagnosis of IBS but that didn't help me solve the problem. I even relented and went on her IBS medication for a while, even though I am very anti-medication, but it didn't work. Ha!

My mom recommended this naturopath she and some of her friends had gone to with apparently great results so I thought I would give it a try. Not much to lose at that point but bloatedness and gas. Yummy. (As an aside, I went to see a naturopath when I was in high school for different digestive-related issues. He was a quack. Or whatever the naturopath equivalent is. I was assured this guy was different.)

As it turns out, I really like my naturopath a lot. He is also a doctor of Chinese medicine and so has a different take on the body and healing than western-style doctors, but at the same time isn't flying around in Never Never Land. I like that. I wanted an alternative solution but, if we're being honest, I get uncomfortable with straying too far from my everyday comfort zone. I mostly think it's form without substance, and that, too, won't help me solve my problems. He started my treatment by testing my pulses. There are twelve for different organs and they are measured on a scale of one to ten. At the beginning my liver was a 1 or 2. Not good. In fact, he said he wished he had some new naturopathic students around since I was such a classic case of dysfunctional liver that even they would be able to feel it. Awesome.

So we started on a path of liver support and stimulation to get it back on track, with a sidebar into stimulating stomach acid production to allow me to actually absorb the medication and food in general. Worked like a charm. Not quickly, mind you, but things were never so acute that I had to do something immediately. If it was going to work, I could wait.

Unfortunately, I'm having a relapse. I had about 4 months of general relief and then in the middle of January the symptoms began to return and if anything they're getting worse. I've played around a bit with my doses of stomach acid pills to see if I could get things under control but no dice. It's very frustrating since (a) I was really feeling better, and (b) (and the relevance to this blog) I wanted to fix these digestion issues before any babies, thinking I should get my systems in tip top shape before throwing them to the dogs, or the fetus as the case may be. I may have to revisit that plan. I go back to the naturopath on March 3. Hopefully he has some solutions. Stupid body. Marvelous, but stupid.

The body is a marvelous thing

I'm always envious of those people who seem to know their bodies. I mean really know them, like know what foods cause what minor reactions in what quantities and at what times of day, what affects their energy levels, what causes them to be moody, etc. I just don't have that gift. Or, correction, haven't put the time into developing it. It's a symptom of my broader problem of not being able to sit still for two seconds and just feel, I'm sure. I'm trying to be better, for my mental and physical health, but it's hard when you're young and busy. And listening to your body is so bloody complicated! I'd like to be more in tune, though, to know when good baby-making time is. This is my first month off the pill in like 10+ years (the Dr. promised it wasn't necessary to take any breaks - we'll see....) and I'm curious to know if my body knows what's natural or whether it's been confused for so long that it's going to take a while to sort itself out. If I were more in tune, maybe I would know. But for now I'm going to trust it. Good job, body, good job! We're still not even trying so it doesn't really matter. But I am curious....

Tiptoeing in

Anyone else come down with internet mania when a big step is about to be taken in their life? In the year before I got married, I was addicted to the Knot, mostly the posts that everyone put up asking for advice and opinions. Now that part of my life is behind me (fingers crossed forever) and thoughts have turned to babies. OK, that's not strictly true, since I've wanted to be a mom forever. But it's actually thoughts leading to actions this time. Not yet, but soon. So I've been reading blogs like a lunatic - new baby blogs, pregnancy blogs, and trying blogs. And I've really enjoyed reading the stories of women whom I don't know and never will.

Anyway, here I go, launching myself into the fray, but in secret. I'm, so far, a strict no-saying-you're-pregnant-to-anyone-but-family-until-you're-past-the-3-month-mark gal, so this way I can throw my thoughts into the world wide web with anonymity and abandon. Mwah-ha-ha. Until I have something to report....